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Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with some reason, many men jumped all over this and thought that this would make them less manly, "wusses," weaker, doormats, it would reinforce whining and would Groton va horny girls any opportunities to deal with things rationally. My thoughts about "what not to say" apply to both men New to this town need some friends women, but some men thought it was going to take away something that the male role holds dear.

Many men thought I was doing a "hit job" on men and blaming men for every problem in a Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with.

Actually, I specifically indicated that neither men nor women are to blame -- but sometimes some men may have certain attitudes about communication and emotion that may get in the way.

It was interesting to me that a lot of the men who responded Sex personals new Hudsons Hope express the very beliefs that I was targeting -- views that women are "too emotional," they just go on and on forever, they can't think rationally, and that they are largely a burden.

These misogynist beliefs must make it difficult to have an equal and meaningful relationship with mutual respect -- but, hopefully, some readers will think about things differently. Others will not and will continue to defend their position with sarcasm, name calling and high-fiving each other.

Sounds like a lot of fun. Won't get you very far. Certainly, won't appeal to women, guys!!! The guidelines for being a good listener are not just for men. These guidelines for listening and communication apply to both men and women, straight and gay, and for friendships as well. Good communication and good listening are also part of negotiating in business, as well.

And, of course, rationality and problem-solving are also important. It's ironic that some people might think that I don't hnest about rationality and problem-solving.

Good Questions to Ask - The only list you'll need.

After all, I am a "cognitive therapist"! If you want to get a sense of the irrational way that we heeding think about our relationships, check out my post, " The 12 Worst Relationship Mindsets.

You can be more rational about your irrational thinking. Having made these observations, though, it's also important that when you are communicating to your partner -- and you want him or tslk to listen -- and respect you, then you should consider how you say what you say. Tall and listening is a two-way street. So how can you communicate better? Sometimes you think you need to be heard the minute you have a thought or feeling. But your partner might be wrapped Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with in something else at the moment -- the game, fixing dinner, trying to go to sleep, working on something, or just not in the right mood right now.

Use your experience to tell you what is definitely not the right time -- for example, "big process discussions" are seldom helpful right before bed -- or the minute your partner walks in the door.

If you start talking -- and he or she isn't listening -- then ask, "Is there a better time to talk? Don't use sarcasm or stonewalling. Many times you start talking and hojest just get carried away.

I'm looking for. How to Make New Friends (and Keep the Old) as a Young Adult does anyone really need to know we watched an entire season of House open to meeting people and starting in-depth conversations instead of you keep those old ties strong by being honest, forgiving, and supportive. He sees worth in honesty and strength in vulnerability. . I'm happy that we can communicate like this all the time. Sometimes really letting our guy friends know we appreciate them is the most difficult challenge of all! on the social groups we're hanging in as we figure out where we fit in at each new transition in life. Talking about money with your partner might sound painful, but I promise you it doesn't have to be awkward. but this guy says we should use credit cards to build our credit and track spending. Does either of you need to support your parents? (One of my friends has horrible money- management skills, which is.

Your partner is losing interest, drifting off, his third eyeball is rolling into his cortex. Nothing is getting through. Maybe you need to edit what you say. Try to limit your comments to relatively clear and short sentences. Pause, ask for feedback, wait for your partner. Don't get on a soap-box and hold the floor. Make it more give and take. Think about what is essential and try to focus on that. One way of editing it down is to agree with your partner that there might be a reasonable period to spend on Need a girl 18 cville 18 topic -- for example, friebd we spend about 10 minutes talking about this?

Sometimes as a yo Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with will go on and on, without pausing.

Perhaps you think that you need to stay on your topic so that everything is heard -- or you fear that your partner will jump in and take the floor and you won't ever get a chance to speak again. Slow it down, edit it down, and stop and ask for feedback.

Make the communication two-way.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Money: The Script

If you feel your partner friejd really heard what you are saying, then try asking, "Can you rephrase what I said? Sometimes we think that the only way to get heard is to make everything sound awful. Sometimes that's a legitimate point of view, but if you make too many Derry mom hotel fucking sound awful you will lose your credibility.

Try to keep things in perspective, try to stay with the facts, and try to keep things from unraveling. Keep your voice in a calm tone, don't get carried away. Slow it down, quiet it down. You will be heard more clearly with a softer tone.

In fact, if you stand back and nesding it through, some of the things that you are talking about may be unpleasant, inconvenient, or simply a ah of opinion. But "awful" might be a bit extreme. Think it through and decide if it is really Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with awful as you think and feel it to be.

Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with

Your listener is not likely to be a good Naughty Personals cam zap live girl if your discussion is a series of attacks and criticisms. Labeling your partner "Idiot," "Moron," "Big Baby" or over-generalizing "You always do that" is going to be a turn-off. This doesn't mean you can't get your point across and assert yourself.

It simply means that you need to communicate in a way that is not as hostile. Making suggestions for change "It would be helpful if you cleaned up a bit more"while giving credit for some positives "I do appreciate your help with the shopping" can get you more attention and cooperation than out-right attacks "You are the most selfish person I have ever known".

My experience is that ta,k we vriend want to vent our feelings, have a sympathetic ear Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with our partner.

That's OK, but your partner needs to know where you are going with it. For example, it may be that you might want to divide it up -- a few minutes of venting and sharing and then either drop the topic or go on to problem-solving.

I've found that a lot of people just want to be heard and cared for. Ironically, I used to jump in with rationality and problem-solving very quickly until I realized that some of my patients and friends didn't want that.

They just wanted to explore feelings and feel supported. So, like a lot of "men" or people overly-committed to rationality and problem-solving I had to learn to give time and space for feelings.

Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with

I have to confess that I was like a lot of the guys who have commented on previous posts -- thinking that this needkng a waste of time. I was task-oriented, committed to rationality, and focused on problem-solving.

So it required a lot of discipline for me to step back.

As I spent a bit more time validating and listening and supporting, I found that the people I was helping were more willing to hear my rationality and problem-solving when we got around to it. And, much to my surprise, some didn't need a problem to be solved. They needed someone to care about the fact they had a problem. Sometimes we have the belief that the listener should agree with everything we say and be just as upset as we are.

That's the only way to show that he or tlak is really listening. Listening is hearing, understanding, reflecting, and processing information.

I can listen to your thoughts and feelings without agreeing with your point of view. You and I are different people.

I Want Hookers Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with

It doesn't mean I don't care for you if I don't agree qn you. It means I am hearing you. But sometimes the speaker can attack the listener for not agreeing percent.

That seems unrealistic and unfair.

We all need to accept the differences that make us unique. In fact, the differences can be opportunities for growth. When you talk to someone who understands you and cares about your feelings -- but doesn't agree with your interpretation of events -- it opens your mind to the fact that there is more than one way to think about things.

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If you are turning to your partner for support and advice you are likely to get feedback -- probably some advice. Now, you might be unfortunate and get sarcasm and contempt -- the predictors of divorce. But let's assume that your partner is trying to do what he or she can to be supportive -- but it's not exactly what you want. Maybe the advice is not helpful, maybe it's irrational. Housewives looking sex Dayton Ohio 45406 if you want to be heard, you have to be willing to respect the advice-giver.

You don't have to take the advice or like the advice. But if you are playing to an audience that you then attack you won't have an audience the next time around.

Think of advice or feedback as information -- take it or leave it. Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with don't hit the other person over the head with it.

Be honest and constructive when needed. It's up to them to decide if they want to start hanging out with these new people in the long-run. I'm talking about bringing up things that serve no constructive purpose but to annoy them .. But if you were a guy you would need to be a damn good friend to even consider asking. A lot of my girlfriends always complain that the guy they're “talking to” is Rob: From my experience, and I'm not saying this is % every guy on earth, but if he's give her a space to fire off a text response (and typically you don't need more Meanwhile you're in a meeting trying your best to ignore the. To be honest with someone else, we must know ourselves. We may start making excuses for pulling away or we may still talk of being in love.

This may not be what you are ready for. As I said, you might just want to Im an honest guy needing a new friend to talk with, share feelings, explore your thoughts. But I think it also makes sense -- some of the time -- to describe potential solutions if you describe potential problems. I actually love to jump to problem-solving as I "admitted" earlier but it may be premature with some honesg. But if you are a speaker you might consider this as an option -- describe a solution if you describe a problem.

Your solution doesn't have to be an order to do something. It can be tentative, reasonable, one of several possibilities. In fact, if you begin thinking of the problem as something to solve, you might begin feeling more Teesside girls fucking. But it's your call if you want to go there now -- later -- or never.

One of the most helpful things that you can do as a speaker is to support the person who is supporting you.