Head, Heart and Balls:

The art of seduction?

So you think your penis isn't getting enough exercise? You aren't getting the girls you want into bed? Beginning to despair that you'll never get laid?

Well, the first thing to know is that you aren't alone! Finding a mate - whether it's just for a day, a night, a week, or a lifetime - is one of the perennial occupations of men. The strange thing is that it's just as important for women - but they are socially programmed to appear as though it's less important. So, in general, even in this era of supposed equality, we men have to do most of the work in setting up relationships. And if you've never learnt the skills that are needed to be confident sexually and socially, then you're going to have a challenge getting sex. It's not a shameful thing: in fact, I think it's sad and unfair that women can sit back and do the sexual selection while men risk rejection, humiliation and struggle with getting sex. Because, make no mistake about it, while men attempt to get laid or get relationships, women control the development of relationships, and they certainly control the sex.

I've heard it said that men have to court women: however, what actually happens in a courtship is that men give women an opportunity to select them as a mate or sexual partner. In fact, sex is one of the few areas in modern society where women have real power.

But, you may say, even if all that is true, what does it have to do with me exercising my penis? Or getting a long term relationship? (something men want just as much as women, though I suspect men want sex more than women. I'm still undecided on that last point, though, for reasons that will become clear shortly).

Well, suppose that there was a way in which you could make things more equal? A way in which you could actually gain the upper hand in the dating game? A way in which you could learn how to seduce women so that they will become deeply attracted to you and want to have sex with you - just hours after they have met you?

The good news, as you may have guessed by now, is that there is such a way. Successful seduction comes from understanding the deeper ways in which we humans - and women in particular - are biologically programmed to interact. If you know these deeper patterns of interaction, you can use them to improve your chances of getting sex out of all recognition. And the even better news is that these patterns are easy to learn, and they work, over and over again, on all women.

If you want to read a full account of one man's experience from start to finish as he learned these techniques, turning himself en route from a not-very-good-looking bespectacled uber-nerd into a refined, stylish, sexually desirable Casanova with multiple long term relationships running at the same time, then you need to get hold of Neil Strauss's book The Game: Undercover In The Secret Society Of Pickup Artists.

It's a truly amazing book, partly because of the story of the two years Strauss spent picking up and bedding women every night, running several long term relationships at once, and having dozens of women from whom to choose to go to bed with - all of whom, incidentally, knew all about the other women in his life - and partly because of the explanation of how he did it.

For those of you who don't already know, there has been a large "Speed Seduction Movement" in existence for years; it's a group of hundreds of men who have devoted themselves to discovering and sharing the tools and techniques that get results with women. These tools include pick-up lines that appeal to a woman's deeper nature, tricks and games that enthuse her and make her admire your social skills, routines that overcome her resistance to sex, some amazingly simple ways of interacting that get her to fall in love with you in a few minutes - or at least to feel as though she has, and - most important of all, perhaps, for the man who isn't getting enough sex - words, gestures, and ways of touching and talking that get her incredibly aroused.

Strauss immersed himself in this speed seduction community for two years, meeting all the gurus and hundreds of students, learning all there was to learn, until he became recognized as the world's most successful pick-up artist. But here's the interesting point - as he makes clear in his book, with stories of hopeless losers who learned how to put themselves about and get the women they wanted - any man can do this, provided he's motivated to do it. And since we want sex so much....who wouldn't be?

Well, first and foremost those men who already have the social and sexual skills to be successful with women; second, those who are in long-term relationships which they are happy with; and third, those who don't want sex (that's a joke, by the way). These techniques are so easy to learn that seduction experts offer (highly praised) seminars, workshops and Ebooks explaining the techniques. And they can transform any man's success with women; in fact, they are exactly what many men need to gain confidence in their sex lives (more on this below).

Now, I hear women shouting "manipulation" at this point. But just think about this for a moment. We're all free agents, and we have a choice of what we do in any given situation. Women can choose who they get together with in normal dating; and they have a choice of whether or not they respond to speed seduction techniques. They're not robots who can be manipulated to ignore their own wishes and desires; rather, speed seduction techniques put men and women in a position of equality, so that men know what to do to activate a woman's sexual circuits, and a woman responds to this from a place in herself far deeper than her social programming.

This is all that happens in normal dating anyway. As any woman who's being honest will tell you, she makes her mind up about whether or not she's willing to have sex with a guy within a few minutes after meeting him, and after that it's up to him to make that his reality by impressing her sufficiently with his manly qualities. After he's done this, she can release her sexual energy, which some experts claim is just as intense - or more so - that a man's. It just needs the right cues to turn it on, whereas a man's is present more or less all the time.

The point is that speed seduction can make a sexual success of a guy who lacks confidence and knowledge of how to approach women. That much is certainly true; you only have to read Strauss's book to see that.

In the course of his book, Strauss describes how he set up a house which was designed to be an environment for men who wanted to make the most of themselves in every way - sexually, socially, personally. Unfortunately, due to what seems to be the poor selection of some of the housemates, the project became stricken with rivalries, petty jealousies and a loss of vision - the vision of the original objectives, that is. For one of the other things that becomes clear when you read the book is that sexual skills alone are not enough to make a man into a real man. We need all the other qualities described elsewhere on this website - maturity, compassion, depth, integrity and strength, to name but a few - to turn a short sexual relationship into a successful long-term relationship. And many of the Johnny-come-lately upstarts in the speed seduction community are shallow individuals who have no understanding of this fact, though it's highly amusing to read about their antics in the book.

However, having said that, if you're a man who has little or no experience with women, or a man who wants to improve his chances with women, or a man who wants to experience loads of sex (and, I have to say, I think that's a very necessary part of every man's development, one that should occur around his late teens or early twenties, though it can still improve his overall development if it happens later in life), then speed seduction techniques could be very useful to you. At the least they will provide loads of fun!

And to make life easy for you, I have provided links to the two websites run by the acknowledged Gurus of the art of seduction: they go by the names of "Mystery" and Ross Jeffries. Read their websites, digest what they have to say, buy their Ebooks, sign up for their seminars, but above all, enjoy the results!